Conservative VS Liberal

I heard this on KWHL, my preferred local Anchorage, AK radio station's morning show this last week. I was laughing because for me, typical of any good satire (Note the word SATIRE, please look it up), much of it seems to ring a little true. Before I posted it, I wanted to try and do a bit of "Due Diligence", locate the original source, and be able to give proper credit where it was due.

This turned out not to be as easy as one might think. This list, with several modifications, has been spreading like wildfire across the Internet. Sadly, there are as many conservatives who think it gospel as there are liberals who cannot chuckle and find the humor in it and must argue and discount each and every line vehemently.

So here it is with my best effort list of credits to follow:

A conservative atheist just doesn’t go to church.
A liberal/progressive atheist doesn’t want anybody else to be allowed to go to church, either.

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

You can probably look at the list and see how much effort would be required to "Google" it and actually get results for the list as opposed to results for the individual points. I really have to thank my buddy Kender for Caoilfhionn's post on his blog, Kender's Musings. Caoilfhionn did what so many bloggers fail to and credited his source Carolyn Hileman at The Voice. If you can, please check out the comments on both these blogs and see what else is there. I know it's hard to believe, but you may actually learn a little something along the way.

I hope you remembered to smile!