Happy Birthday Mike!

I'm sitting here in my Chicago hotel room, goofing off for the weekend, while on my way to New York for the week. I had decided it was a good time to catch up on my email, blog reading, My Spacing, Facebooking, etc. Facebook reminded me that it's my buddy Mike's birthday. I went to his page and posted "Happy Birthday!". I saw an update later and I found this post by our mutual friend Kender. It made me laugh so hard, I thought it important to share it with you all.

Here's the message he posted

"I was going to send you birthday wishes but in this time of political correctness and sensitivity I am uncertain if wishes may be against your religion and I wouldn't want to offend you in any way shape or form so until such time as the right to offend is codified into law, as opposed to the right to not be offended which is all BUT codified into law I want you to know that IF you are not offended by well wishes upon the day you mark your birth into this world that they are indeed sent your way by me. If however these wishes offend you they were not only NOT sent but they do not and have never existed in any way shape or form."

- Kender McGowan

Too much and I love it... Kender, thanks again for the chuckle and Happy Birthday Mike! (By the way Mike, you are still very much a youngster, but one of the more learned youngsters I know.)

Please check them out and follow them if you like what you see. Both of these guys have their own blog sites here:
Mike - South Texian - http://www.southtexian.com/2009/04/earth-day-poetry.html
Kender - Kenders Musings - http://kendersmusings.blogspot.com/

Some Funny in the Midst of Hectic

(Thanks Marianne! L & R AK)

As I pack and otherwise prepare for my 8:00 AM flight to Chicago, (Due at 6:00 AM in the airport in pursuit of a First-Class Upgrade) I opened an email from a friend of mine. She, like I, "Lives the Life" as many of us call being a member of the biker community. It's a bit more complex than just owning a motorcycle and hanging out, but that's a topic for a different day.

A little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, turns to her and asks, "Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"

"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."

"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...




"Look here Dad!" "You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley... YOU RIDE IT!!"

Oh, Come one now!! Where did you think this was going? I did say "Funny" in the title!!

Note: For the record, several of my "brothers" ride Honda. We tease 'em, but we love 'em.

You have got to be kidding me???

Well, not that anything should surprise us in this day and age of frivolous lawsuits and such, but I could not believe the following.

I am one of those water buffalo types that consumes a lot of water on a regular basis. A normal day finds may drinking about a full gallon of water. Sometimes, to break up the blandness, I'll add some Crystal Light or other sugar-free mix to my Nalgene bottle. I was feeling especially economical at a recent shopping trip and went for the generic Safeway brand "Shake N' Run" instead.

(Side note: When I get bored, I read; I read everything, signs, instructions, labels, etc. This being a Friday, and me being overdue for a vacation, and it having been a long several weeks at the office, I am ready to get out of here and concentrating is difficult.)

I made the mistake of reading the "Directions" on the packet of lemonade I was about to mix into my water.

Take a sip from a 16.9 fl oz bottle of water (500ml) if bottle is filled to the top. Empty contents of one packet into the bottle of water. Shake well until dissolved. Packet can be mixed into a 20 fl oz bottle of water for a lighter flavor. Also great when made with tap water.

Now, overall, pretty basic instructions, but I'm a smart-ass and was mentally retorting as I read.

• "Take a sip from a 16.9 fl oz bottle of water" - What if it is 16.8 fl oz, or 17? Why does it have to be 16.9? What about that whole sip thing? I guarantee one of my "sips" is about quarter bottle! I AM a very big man! What then?
• "Packet can be mixed into a 20 fl oz bottle of water for a lighter flavor" - Really? Not a 18 fl oz bottle? What about a 32 fl oz bottle that is not full? I mean come on, gimmie some options here! I feel so restricted!
• "Also great when made with tap water" - Really? Tap Water? Is there a special container that I need to use? Should it be filtered? Is it okay to include ice?
  

I know, I warned about the smart-ass thing, right? Well, I did manage to get through this brain wracking dilemma and enjoy my sugar free drink mix.

For those of you still concerned, I opted for the partially full 32 fl oz Nalgene bottle with an appropriate number of ice cubes to chill it to MY specifications.

The Pope Visits Alaska

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a 'Vote for Obama' hat and a 'Save the Trees' T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers with 'Go Sarah' T-shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. 'I give you my blessing for your brave actions!' he told them. 'I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true…

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies 'Who was that guy?'
'It was the Pope,' another replied. 'He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.'
'Well,' the logger said, 'he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?'

Okay, Okay - But I am still laughing!!!

A short rumination on "Clashes dominate conservative author’s visit"

I posted the following comment on Facebook,

"Too bad their tolerance does not extend to those that disagree with them. Higher level education systems have long been a hotbed for the liberal agenda. All Mr. Horowitz is asking for is a politics free education environment.
The problem is, who "monitors" that? Unfortunately, it sounds like more "Big Brother" to me. As much as I agree, the enforcement concerns me."

Although the protesters certainly had a right to air their side out front, I believe allowing them inside to disrupt the event was a poor decision. It seems that the old philosophies of "changing the channel" or "going somewhere else" have flown the coop. Now seems to be a philosophy more like, "You must agree with me, or you cannot be allowed to say your piece."

As insomnia sets in at this fine hour (2:20 AM Friday morning here in Anchorage, AK), it occurred to me that what he is really asking for is, for the professors themselves, along with the colleges to show a bit of self control. The issue is not that the professors don't deserve to exercise "Freedom of Speech", but that their classrooms may not be a suitable place.

Now, I am not one of your overly emotional guys. Although I can get very angry, normally, once emotion enters the discussion, am I quite ill prepared. But, let's make a few assumptions:

1. 1. A good majority of the people who did not want to go to war in the 60's and 70's could avoid military service by going to school. Being full-time students helped them "dodge the draft".
   
2. Women, at that time, were not a big part of our military, and most stayed behind and blamed the war and the government for their separation. Many often "Dear John'd" their fighting man in lieu of a man who stayed behind. I am extrapolating here, a majority of the men they spent their time with were liberal anti-war types.
3. Most college professors are in fact college graduates themselves. (hehe I know)
   
4. Is it safe to assume by the end of the 70's, the majority of college graduates were likely liberal and anti-war as were most Professors?
5. Most graduates for the last 40 years have come up through a very liberal leaning education system producing more liberals?

I am talking in big generalities here and realize there are many exceptions. I think my logic is sound and may explain the nature of politics today and why the conservatives seem to be more in a minority than ever before. Mr. Horowitz goal is a great one. he is trying to separate the politics from education much like many have striven to separate the religion from education.

I really believe all three realms (education, politics, and religion) should be kept separate. I have no idea how to safely achieve that. What I caution against is to keep a watchful eye on what is done in an effort to obtain such a lofty goal. Keep in mind what freedoms we were all so ready to give up to be safe when we found terrorists were not just knocking on our door, but had walked on in and sat down.

Justice is served?

"The Justice Department asked a judge Wednesday to toss out the corruption conviction of former Sen. Ted Stevens because prosecutors withheld evidence from his defense team.

The department is abandoning a hard-fought victory that had turned into an embarrassment. The prosecutors who handled the trial have been removed from the case and their conduct is under investigation.

The case cost Stevens the Alaska seat he had held since 1968."

The above opener was believed by many to be an April Fool's prank. At the time of the trial, I was "screaming" foul at the top of my lungs. I want to stress here, I am neither a Stevens supporter, nor detractor. My issue is with how this case, like many others, was handled by the US Government. Often, they are in such a hurry to prosecute, they often drop the ball or worse.

Although many will never be convinced he is anything but guilty, I choose to look at it otherwise. If Stevens was so guilty, why couldn't the prosecution win without cheating? In fact, the entire case was based on Stevens purposely hiding any gifts and work paid for by VECO. When asked if during his deposition, Bill Allen stated "Ted Stevens would pay bills presented to him." This bit of information was withheld from the defense team throughout the trial.

The fact was, VECO never billed for a lot of the work in question. Another point is, Ted's wife paid the day-to-day bills and Ted was not even at the home during most of the renovations. (He spent a great deal of that time in Washington, DC.)

Why the timing? Convenient this case came to a head just prior to the election. Funny how, even with the conviction, Stevens opponent won by a very narrow margin. There is no doubt the conviction was a factor.

Apparently, the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" was lost on the prosecution, the jury, and even the judge. In any other court case, with the 4 counts of misconduct by the prosecution, the case would have never gone on long enough for a conviction. This political "witch hunt" was a major injustice.